Serendipity

You know what, fuck this.

I used to viciously defend clubbing when people (a lot on this site, in fact) would be like “it’s just a bunch of sweaty, drunk, sti infected losers looking to rub up against each other and take attention seeking photos for facebook”. But this place and the people I’m around have basically ruined any enjoyment I ever had of going out at night.

When I was like 16, me and my closest friend used to go out, get respectably mashed, attempt to get into clubs and generally make brief, but awesome friends every single weekend.

It wouldn’t be about who could show the most leg or tits, or flash their gash at every other opportunity, instead it would be about looking sexy enough to feel good about yourself (without being a total tramp).
We wouldn’t get drunk because it was the awesome cool impressive thing to do, we would do it because for a few hours it would make life so much more intense and exciting, and get rid of those little insecurities and inhibitions that can make you crazy in day to day life. We wouldn’t even take photos, we must have gone out hundreds of times over the college duration, and there are probably only 5 or 6 photos of our nights out (compared to the 700+ I’ve had taken since attending uni).
We wouldn’t meet new people, mostly guys, so that we could get a cheeky neck or get laid, we did it because IT’S SIMPLY NICE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. Especially when you know you’re unlikely to ever see them again, it kinda makes life seem a little bit more fleeting so you try and really get to know someone much deeper in a shorter amount of time. I think it’s a fairly universal phenomenon that night time conversations always seem to be a little bit.. different, more honest and meaningful maybe? Plus compliments tend to spill out a lot more in the middle of the night… which is obviously nice.
Dancing. We didn’t do the stupid faux lesbian dance to get attention from creepy men, we danced closely together cause the music was good, we were a little tipsy and we really were such good friends. There aren’t many feelings in the world similar to when you can ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ when there really are people watching, it’s a spectacular feeling.
Also this idea that it matters where you go or what you do, it didn’t matter whether we actually got into/could afford the cooler clubs and bars, because we’d have a great time even if we ended up in a grimy underground drum and bass club or smoking shisha in the little garden half way up Park Street… it just didn’t matter.

& there are so many other great things that would take me so long to type and I’m super cold so my fingers are like eeeeeeeeeeh.

But now, when I go out, it’s all about “what you’re wearing”, “who gets the drunkest”, “who pulls” and “what photos are going on facebook tomorrow”.

How stupid is it that I pay my hard earned money to go somewhere where I’ll just stand and feel ugly because even the gross drunk morons don’t approach me anymore. Or even worse that I’ll pay money to go somewhere and get so drunk I don’t even have a memory of the night.

I am a little inebriated right now, but more than that I am pissed off and sad. Also reluctant to say that all you clubbing naysayers were right, it’s shit when you’re with shit people.